Monday, February 21, 2011

Qualifications of a Pastor's Wife

I was looking through some old files and found this little gem. I don't remember where it came from, but thought it would be fun to put it on my blog.  I've been a pastor's wife since I married in 1954. You can tell it's dated by the reference to the CB radio in the last paragraph.  Nowadays it would be a cell phone. But many of these statements are things that were expected of me through the years.

Qualifications of a Pastor's Wife

Her ears should have an automatic sifter for sorting out information that should be kept confidential.

Her mouth should be always smiling, saying good things.

She should have three eyes, the two to lead music as she plays the piano, while with the third she watches her children on the front pew to make sure they behave like the preacher's kids should.

She should have at least four hands to keep the house neat at all times, sew for all the family, bake better cakes than anyone else for the church picnic, raise the children to be examples of obedience, intelligence, and achievement, and always be first to do extra work at the church.

Her feet should be trim and dainty, yet large and substantial enough for all the working, walking, and standing that her job requires.

Her hair should be divided down the middle, half in the fashion of the day, and half in a conservative "motherly" style.

Her clothes should never be new because that would make her a spendthrift, never old because that would prove her out of touch, never fancy because that would show as not conservative enough.

Her figure must not be too trim because that would indicate vanity, but not too matronly because that would mean she lacked will power.

She must have a file cabinet mind that can produce Sunday School lessons and devotionals at a moment's notice, detailed statistics over the past ten years, and chapter and verse containing the parable of the vineyard, or any other scripture somebody needs to know about.

She must be an expert counselor on marriage problems and coping with unruly children.

Above all, she must have a CB radio brain in order to locate her husband in one minute flat, regardless of whether he is in his study, calling on prospects on the golf course, visiting in the hospital, or browsing in the Baptist Book Store.

1 comment:

  1. That's funny. It brought a smile to my face. I try to laugh at all the unrealistic expectations that others have for those who are in ministry. It's the only way to keep from crying over them.