Learning How to Let Go
I
have a love affair with books. I started dating books when I saw Dick and Jane
run after Spot in first grade.
I
nurtured the relationship in third grade when The Scholastic Book Club let me
order books from handouts my teacher, Mrs. Baker, would give us. I still
remember reading The Furious Flycycle.
I married
books in the fourth grade. Mrs. Fountaine held up a sign and told the class we
would get a certificate if we read something like 8 fiction books, 5 science books,
and 8 non-fiction books. I read more than a hundred.
My
love affair with books has lasted my entire lifetime and I probably have
somewhere over 3,000 books now.
My
wife often tells me I have too many books and I say, "No, I do not have
enough bookshelves."
I
finally admitted I needed to start cleaning out my overflowing shelves when I
began to stack them in piles on the floor. Early in June, I started setting
books out in a hallway outside my office for whomever might want them. I have
kicked them out on their own.
I
feel unfaithful to these books. I hope they find good homes.
Cleaning
out these books has been an exercise in learning how to let go of things that
are important to me. The principles that I have used could be applied to any
attempts to let go of things in our lives--books, possessions, feelings, etc.
1.
I learned letting go requires measurable goals.
I
started out by setting a goal of removing ten books from my office. Once I
removed ten books, I set a goal for ten more.
Like
the books I am setting out into the wild, my goals stacked one upon another
until I am close to 300 books removed from my office. Since I originally
planned to remove 100 books, turning loose of 300 of them is a huge
accomplishment.
As
you try to let go, start on the edges of whatever ever needs to go and work
your way toward the center in measured steps.
2.
I learned letting go is an emotional experience.
I
can pick a book off my shelf and remember the chair I sat in when I read it
twenty-five years ago. I can remember how it changed me, thrilled me, confused
me, and even frustrated me.
I
gave away some old books that were important to me a long time ago, but I had
not opened them in decades. It was time to let them go because we no longer
connected with each other.
I
could not give away books given to me by someone else who had written a note
inside. Those books tie me to specific people. I still have a relationship
there.
As
you try to let go, be honest with yourself about your emotions because they
affect what you can and cannot let go.
3.
I learned letting go takes time.
I
thought I could clean my shelves in a week, but it has taken over a month.
Some
of the books I have sent packing were picked up three or four times over the
month before I finally could let them go. I had to say good-bye to them
gradually.
As
you try to let go, give yourself the time you need to grieve and say
goodbye.
I
am just cleaning out bookshelves but our lives often become crowded with many
things we need to release. Set some goals, embrace your emotions, take your
time and let things go.
How
about you? Do you have trouble letting go of things? What sort of things are
you trying to let go?
----------------------------
Bio for Darrell
Gwaltney
Dr. Darrell Gwaltney has served as the Dean of the School of
Religion for Belmont University in Nashville, TN, since 2004. He served in a similar capacity at Palm Beach
Atlantic University in West Palm Beach, FL.
He has a Master’s degree in English from University of Missouri-Kansas
City and a Master’s of Divinity degree from Midwestern Baptist Theological
Seminary in Kansas City, Missouri. He received his Ph.D. in theology from The
Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. He has also
studied at Oxford University, Oxford, England.
In 2010, he was named the H. Franklin Paschall Chair of
Biblical Studies and Preaching.
His work in the School of Religion gives him the opportunity
to work with amazing young men and women who are preparing for ministry all
over the world. He teaches classes in vocation, faith and culture,
hermeneutics, and worship and preaching.
In more than thirty years of ministry, he has served as
pastor of churches in Missouri, Indiana, and Florida. Before coming to serve at
Belmont University, he completed a pastorate at Northwood Baptist Church in
West Palm Beach, Florida, serving a diverse, suburban church of 900 members.
Most recently, he finished an extended interim pastorate at Crievewood Baptist
Church in Nashville, Tennessee. He remains active preaching and serving in
local churches.
He has been married for thirty-one years to Donna Gwaltney
and has three children: Meghan, 25 years old; Jordan, 23 years old; and Trey, 21
years old. He is an avid St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan who also loves music,
reading, writing, gardening, and traveling.
His blog can be found on the web at www.darrellgwaltney.com.
Thanks, Darrell, for your blog today and for your witness for Jesus through the years.
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